A "How To" Guide to Being a Tourist (1)

On the 25th of May 2011 I finished my third year of a BSc Astrophysics course at the University of St. Andrews. And while most of my student friends are heading home for the summer holidays I remain in St. Andrews to work seven shifts a week in a golf shop, and two nights a week at a pub. It truly is a wonderful experience to work in St. Andrews (especially in businesses frequented by tourists) as you often see people on one of the happiest days of their lives. Unfortunately for the tourists they tend to see me over-worked, under-rested, and dragging my feet through yet another day. 

While at work I periodically check to see if my high school English teacher, Beth Landau, has posted her next blog entry in a series titled "We're All in This Together" in which she writes about the behavior of people who seem to think they are the only people on the planet. Her posts are a fantastically funny way to vent about these social faux pas.

So to keep myself (and hopefully you) entertained throughout the summer I'll be posting regular segments of a similar theme titled A 'How To' Guide to Being a Tourist where I will attempt to inform all inept tourists of the correct way to behave while traveling, somebody has to.

I) Currency

Inevitably, if you do most of your traveling outside of the European Union or the United States you will encounter a vast range of different currency.  And whether you realize it or not, citizens tend to be very defensive about their money and you can earn their modest affection by being able to carry out a simple transaction without consulting your ‘Country-X guide book’. Most of the money around the world works exactly the same yet it continues to amaze me how confused people get when the coins don’t come in the same denominations or the banknotes happen to be a different colour then what they are used to.

If you are confused about the currency then please ask for it to be explained, and then listen to the explanation. Just this morning I helped a woman count out £1.50 in change, then explained all English and Scottish currency to her. She nodded her head in agreement before kindly informing me that “In America we use dollar bills. You know, paper dollars”. The tendency for people (mostly Americans) to think that their country's currency is for some reason superior is an all too common occurrence.

Also, referring to the foreign banknotes you are holding as ‘monopoly money’ will not earn you any friends, at least not ones from your host country. After all, the person working in the shop serving you is paid in this ‘monopoly money’.

Perhaps the most shocking of all currency related incidents I have encountered since moving to the UK involved a man from Texas and his $50 bill. When I told this gentleman that the total cost of his shopping was £29.99, he handed me a $50 bill. I kindly informed him that we only take British currency and this unsurprisingly confused him. He simply could not understand why our shop would not take his money. I explained to him that the shop he was standing in is in Scotland. This didn’t help. And when I asked him how someone in Texas would react if I tried to pay with a £20 note he rather proudly exclaimed that “they would probably shoot you”.

There you have it, the depth of ethnocentrism present in many ‘world travelers’ is astonishing.

 So if you are traveling to a country which uses different currency please familiarize yourself with it, or if that’s too difficult, just pay by card.

II) Credit Cards

Before you read any further you must do me a favor. Take every credit card you have in your wallet at the moment and check if you have signed the back of the card where the card issuer has instructed you to do so. If any of your cards are not signed – SIGN THEM!!! Most people do not realize that this is not a request from the credit card companies for you to sign your card – it is a legal demand. And if your card is not signed then it cannot legally be used.

Now this may surprise people who have been using a card without a signature or one that says “See I.D.” (also illegal) but if you are surprised at this news it means you have been frequenting shops which have no regard for your financial security and have decided to ignore this legal protection in exchange for the expedience of your purchase.

If you have not signed your card because you’re afraid someone could forge your signature if your card is stolen, then you are an idiot. By not signing your card you leave a blank space for a thief to pen his or her own name, and no forging is necessary.

A few months ago I served a gentleman who exhibited the greatest failure to make a purchase I’ve ever seen. He wanted to buy a jacket for £32.50 and pay on card. When he handed me his card I checked for the signature only to find ‘See I.D.’ written in the white rectangle. Not wanting to cause too many problems by denying his card (which I should have legally done) I asked the man if I could see his I.D. . He didn’t have any, and therefore left the shop empty-handed.

Some may say turning the man away was rude, but he brought it upon himself. If he had simply signed his card, or for that matter had any form of I.D. on him he would have been served. He thought signing his card was optional, turns out serving him was also optional.